Self Improvement

Letters to Keep us Together


One thing that I’ve learned in my few years as a genuine adulty person is that adult friendships are different from school friendships, even college friendships. When you are adults you have different work schedules, you live in different neighborhoods or even different cities or continents, you have different lifestyles and careers, and while your personalities and sense of humor might still mesh well the hard part of being friends as you become adults is keeping in touch with each other and staying connected.

It can also be a problem that as your friendships no longer grow from the convenient daily interaction you had in your younger years at school that you find that just coasting in your friendships doesn’t work well anymore and you have to actively feed your relationships to keep them healthy.

With that idea in mind I’m introducing a new series to help you become the kind of friend you want to be so you can live your dream of being #SquadGoals.

In honor of this post taking place in December I’m going to start with a bang by sending out holiday cards.

I know that a lot of people have switched to just sending an email or Facebook message to celebrate holidays with their friends, but I’ve had a big change in how close I think my friends feel to me since I started sending them physical cards for their birthdays and Christmas. It takes a bit of extra time to actually fill out and send physical cards, and I feel it has made my friends feel more appreciated by me and even closer to me since I started doing this a year or two ago.

I started out small by just sending out cards to just a handful of friends. I went through the hoopla of explaining that I wanted to send holiday cards and had to actually message my friends for their mailing address, and that felt oddly embarrassing, but once I got those addresses I put them in a Google Sheets and have kept them ever since. Sometimes things go wrong as people don’t always tell me they’ve moved, but mostly I’ve found that I don’t have to do much upkeep with the names already on my mailing list as big moves and getting married and such usually is blasted on my social media so I don’t have to hunt them down to find their new address- and even if I do, thankfully I have their cell numbers as well.

I’ve slowly been expanding my mailing list each year as well. I still haven’t started sending cards to my family, but this year I bought a total of 55 cards on Etsy and have sent the majority of them out.

If you just write and stamp the cards in batches of ten on the weekends through November, sometime in December you should have all the cards done and ready to send out so that makes this project pretty low effort as well. This year I bought a small set of holiday neutral cards (the Over The Fields We Go cards from Cynla’s Etsy store) as well that are still festive but won’t annoy my slightly more… particular friends, because the point of this whole thing is to bond, not to upset people I care about over something that isn’t a big deal to me anyway. In the meantime I’m still glad to receive the Happy Hanukkah, Winter Solstice, and any other holiday cards my friends send to me because I am glad to learn which holiday they celebrate and I feel closer knowing that bit more about them!

What do you think? Is sending real cards an easy step forward to maintain or deepen friendships? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

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